To Who It May Concern

I don’t know who you are or what you are doing today. But I have been thinking of you all day.

I might make a horrible first impression when we first meet. I have to carry myself like a stone cold bitch because that’s the job. People don't usually check for me before being destructive.

I hope that when we start liking each other it’s because we see each other objectively like a person we genuinely want to be around. I hope you understand why a sense of humor & fun are essential to surviving what has happened and what is to come. I hope you let me split the check but also that you hold the door for me.

When we fall in love it should feel like gravity. I hope we understand what it truly means. We should make sure that we are taking care of ourselves and each other in a meaningful and mindful way daily.

Let’s create stuff together. A garden, a poem, a play, a song…whatever it is let’s put our hands together and make stuff together.

I'm not perfect but I'm working on being better every day. I carry inside me the 6 year old me who used to hide in the bathroom and strategize how to fix her parent's marriage. I can tell when I’m being gaslighted the second it’s happening and it’s…triggering. I try to heal her every day.

Please know that regardless of our chemistry, I'm not counting on forever. Betrayal will make more sense than loyalty. I’m not scared to get hurt. It's okay if we stay together forever and just as fine if we don't. But be kind to me always, no matter what.
Don't lie to me. I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear, I want to hear the truth. Trust me with the things you've never said out loud. Love me like you've never loved anyone before. Be my teammate. Watch my blindside. I am not a damsel in distress waiting to be rescued but please hold me when I cry.

And lastly, I don’t want you to need me. I want you to want me.