Save yourself

There is SO much pain out there. Everyone is a walking/talking open wound. And we are all waiting for someone to show up for us. We self-medicate with sex, drugs, food, social media, our jobs, our fantasies, our failures, the "what ifs", our relationships and replaying the same audio track of thoughts day in and day out.

And how did we get here anyway? Who are you waiting on to save you?

You're probably waiting for your Bruce Wayne to actually be Batman or your Diana Prince to actually be Wonder Woman. I have waited for them and sometimes find myself still waiting.

But they're not coming for you. The job to save you is yours alone.

And I get it. It's easier to delegate the rescue than to do the work ourselves but the thing is we can't save each other, we can only help each other. And there is a difference. We need to be clear on that no matter who it is that needs us. Do the work so you can help others do theirs.

But oh if I could save you...

If I could save you I would take away your pain and throw it in the ocean. I would take away your sadness and guilt and that gross feeling that you feel and burn it until every bit of it was ashes. I would take it all away and find a way to let you see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you so much it hurts. I'd reach inside your heart and mind and clear it of all the lies, anxiety and depression you're telling yourself and replace it with love and peace, clarity and make you whole. If I could save you I would tell you that there will never be another you and my heart is so grateful for ever being loved by you. I would tell you how much I love you until I run out of words.

I would tell you that the time you saved me from the neighbor's dog biting me is my favorite super hero story of all time. And that even though I don't remember the other time you were my hero I know it happened because that is so you. I would tell you that nobody has ever held me like you have. I would tell you that listening to music in your apartment is one of my favorite memories ever of being on vacation. I would tell you that your car was the greatest coolest car and your clothes were the coolest clothes ever. If I could save you I would tell you that you that I wouldn't know how much I was loved as a kid if you hadn't existed. I would tell you how it's been too long since we've seen each other and I cry just thinking about it. I am just one day, one hug, one pep talk from you away to feeling restored.

But I can't save you. I can't even help you from this side of the planet. I don't have any answers for your pain because it's yours. You have to save your self because I can't do any of the things I would do if I could save you.

But if I could be a hero just for one day...